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Why Empathy Is the Real Superpower (and What It Has to Do With Your Plate)
By now, you’ve probably realized this isn’t just a habit challenge.
This is a mindset reset.
And one of the most underrated forms of wisdom?
Empathy.
Not just being “nice.” Not just being “understanding.”
But really feeling what someone else is going through — because you’ve been there too.
From Judgment to Wisdom
You ever judge someone for what they eat… until you catch yourself doing the same thing?
You ever get frustrated with a loved one for not “getting it”… then realize you were in their exact shoes just a year ago?
That’s empathy trying to break through.
And when it does, it creates space for:
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Less shame
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Less criticism
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More compassion
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And way more growth
Because wisdom doesn’t just come from your experience —
It comes from recognizing how your pain connects you to others.
Food Is Emotional — So Is Healing
Most people aren’t just eating because they’re hungry.
They’re eating because they’re:
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Lonely
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Overwhelmed
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Unseen
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Or emotionally disconnected
Empathy is what helps you understand your own cravings without shaming them.
It’s what allows you to see someone else’s journey and say,
“I’ve been there… and I know you can get through it too.”
Empathy ≠ Enabling
Let’s be clear:
Empathy isn’t about making excuses.
It’s about creating understanding without abandoning accountability.
You can have grace for yourself and still hold the line.
You can forgive the setback and still commit to the reset.
That’s what wisdom looks like.
Practice for Today:
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Reflect on a time you judged yourself harshly for “failing” with food or health.
Ask: What would I say to someone else in that exact situation? -
Then say those same words to yourself.
Next, think of someone in your life who’s struggling with food, wellness, or mindset.
Ask yourself:
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What would it look like to show them empathy without enabling the pattern?
Final Thought:
Empathy doesn’t make you weak.
It makes you wise.
Because people don’t change from pressure alone — they change from being seen, felt, and supported.
And that starts with how you talk to you.
You’re so close to Day 21! Let’s finish strong. 💥
Wisdom in the Wounds: Turning Your Experiences Into Insight
We often think wisdom is something you learn from books, mentors, or spiritual gurus.
But some of the wisest people you'll ever meet?
Are the ones who’ve been through some things.
Heartbreak.
Health scares.
Shame around food.
Loss of control.
Repeated “I’ll start Monday” cycles.
My PhD doesn't make me an expert in this area. I'm an expert because I've gone through all this myself and I finally chose to dig deeper! Ok, back to regularly scheduled programming.
“Experience is the most honest teacher — because it doesn’t care if you’re ready or not.”
The question isn’t whether you’ve had hard moments.
The real question is:
What did those moments teach you?
Experience as Mirror, Not a Cage
It’s easy to get stuck replaying your past like a broken record:
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“I’ve always struggled with food.”
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“I’ve never been consistent.”
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“This is just how I was raised.”
But what if your experiences weren’t meant to trap you…
but to train you?
To show you where your patterns live.
To reveal what triggers you.
To teach you how to bounce back.
Wisdom doesn’t come from avoiding pain.
It comes from processing it with purpose.
A New Practice: Pulling Wisdom from Your Story
Try this today:
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Pick one moment in your food or health journey that left a mark.
(Ex: a failed diet, a triggering comment, a relapse moment) -
Ask:
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What was I feeling?
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What belief was driving that choice?
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What could I learn from that now — without shame?
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Then take one action today that honors the lesson, not the wound.
Final Thought
You are not broken.
You are becoming wise.
And wisdom means letting your experiences build you, not bury you.
Let’s stop running from the past — and start mining it for gold.
Who Are You Modeling… and Should They Even Have the Mic?
Let’s be honest — we are always imitating something.
Whether it’s conscious or not, our thoughts, habits, and cravings are often shaped by:
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What we scroll past on Instagram
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Who we hang around
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What we’ve seen our family do for years
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Or what the culture normalizes (snacking, wine-downs, “treating yourself”)
But here’s the real question:
Who are you modeling right now?
And do they actually live how you want to live?
Because wisdom isn’t just about doing what “feels good.”
It’s about having the discernment to say:
“That may work for them… but that’s not in alignment with the version of me I’m becoming.”
Detox Your Role Models
We don’t talk about this enough, but sometimes the people we admire…
are also the ones keeping us stuck.
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That influencer who eats clean but never talks about the binge/restrict cycle.
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That friend who laughs off poor eating habits as a personality trait.
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That family member who guilt-trips you for changing.
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Or even your past self — the one you’re loyal to out of routine, not wisdom.
If you’re trying to break bad habits, you have to be mindful of who you give the mic to.
Your New Mirror: Future You
If you’re going to imitate anyone…
Let it be the version of you who’s already free.
The one who says “no” without shame.
The one who doesn’t reward stress with snacks.
The one who loves peace more than sugar.
That version of you already exists.
You just need to practice their mindset until it becomes yours.
Reflect & Rewire
Try this today:
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Scan your influences: Who’s been shaping your food decisions lately?
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Ask yourself: Are they aligned with your vision or just your past?
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Close your eyes. Picture future you.
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Ask: Who do you follow? What do you eat? What do you say no to — and why?
Final Thought
Be careful who you imitate — because you’re also inheriting their outcomes.
Wisdom says:
“Don’t just copy the habit. Understand the why behind it.”
And if their why doesn’t serve your future?
Let them go.
The Wisest Person You’ll Ever Meet Is… You?
When we think of wisdom, we often look outside of ourselves.
We read books.
We follow thought leaders.
We quote our favorite coach, pastor, or podcast host.
And while learning from others is powerful…
What if you’ve been ignoring the most important teacher?
What if the wisest person you’ll ever meet…
is actually you — just a more aware, more aligned, more elevated version of you?
Step Into the Hallway
Imagine this:
There’s a long hallway in your mind. At the very end is a closed door.
Behind that door?
Your future self.
The version of you who has already made the decisions you’ve been avoiding.
The one who no longer uses food, wine, or mindless habits to numb pain.
The one who no longer needs validation to feel valuable.
They’re just sitting there.
Waiting to be heard.
Waiting to offer insight.
All you have to do… is ask.
The Imitation Game
When we imitate others, we’re not just copying — we’re rehearsing.
And whether you're aware of it or not, you're always imitating something:
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Your upbringing
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Your environment
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Your old self
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The people around you
The question is: Who are you modeling your current habits after?
Are they aligned with where you’re going… or just who you’ve always been?
Because here’s the truth:
“Imitating your future self rewires your present behavior.”
If your future self doesn’t eat that…
If they don’t drink that…
If they don’t spiral when triggered…
Then what are they doing instead?
Get clear on that — then practice it.
Your Wisdom Practice for Today
Find a quiet moment today and ask yourself:
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What would the healed version of me eat today?
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How would the disciplined version of me plan their meals?
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How would the emotionally regulated version of me respond when cravings hit?
You don’t need a new plan.
You need a new vision — and the courage to imitate it until it feels natural.
🔁 Final Thought
You don’t need more advice.
You need access to your inner guidance — the version of you that’s already been there.
So today, take a moment to close your eyes, walk down that hallway, and knock on the door.
Let the wiser version of you lead for a change.
The teacher is already in you.
The question is… are you listening?
Gratitude for reading,
Dr. Denise THINKS
More To Read
Stop the Monday Reset: Replay the Weekend Instead
How did things go this past weekend?
Be honest with yourself:
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Did you keep the promises you made last week?
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Or did you slip into the “I’ll start over on Monday” routine?
Weekends are where most people fall back into old habits — family gatherings, late nights, comfort foods. And what usually follows? Guilt. Resets. And the same Monday cycle.
But here’s the real question:
What conversations did you have with yourself about food this past weekend?
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Did you say, “I deserve this”?
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“It’s just one cookie”?
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Or “I’ll make up for it tomorrow”?
Your words matter — because your body listens to every thought you feed it.
The Truth About Monday Resets
The truth is… you don’t need another Monday reset.
You need a new story.
And that story starts with identity. When you stop identifying as someone who “struggles with food” and start owning the identity of someone who “chooses energy and peace,” everything changes.
It’s no longer about starting over. It’s about staying rooted in who you’re becoming.
Today’s Challenge: Replay the Weekend
Instead of beating yourself up, let’s turn this into a learning moment.
Here’s how to replay the weekend so you can see your patterns clearly — and start rewriting them:
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Pick one food choice from this weekend that didn’t serve you.
(Example: finishing the cake, overeating at brunch, late-night snacking.) -
Write out what happened before you ate it.
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Were you stressed?
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Bored?
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Pressured by family or friends?
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Write out what you told yourself in the moment.
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“It’s just one bite.”
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“I don’t want to be rude.”
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“I’ll work it off tomorrow.”
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Write out how you felt after.
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Heavy? Guilty? Sluggish?
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Or maybe momentarily satisfied but disappointed later?
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Now ask: How would the healthiest version of me have handled this moment differently?
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Maybe pausing to breathe.
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Maybe choosing a lighter portion.
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Maybe saying no without guilt.
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Why This Works
When you replay the weekend, you start to see your habits for what they really are — not failures, but patterns. And patterns can be rewritten.
Each time you do this, you’re training yourself to notice the triggers, shift the self-talk, and choose differently next time. That’s identity in action.
Your Turn
This week, don’t just “start over.” Replay your weekend, identify your patterns, and reimagine how the healthiest version of you would respond.
Because the goal isn’t perfection. The goal is practice. And practice makes identity.
✨ Want deeper coaching to finally break the Monday reset cycle? My 13-week program is designed to rewire your thoughts, cravings, and habits so your changes actually stick. Start by filling out this quick qualifier → https://form.jotform.com/252138165077155
How to Choose a Food Habit for Keeps
Hey hey — welcome to class! Today, we’re talking about how to choose a food habit for keeps.
Notice I said a food habit. Just one.
Because let’s be real — the most important decision you’ll make on this journey is which habit to build first. Trying to change multiple habits at once? That’s a recipe for burnout.
So yes, narrow it down to just one.
Pick the right food habit and strategy? Progress feels like, “Oh, I can do this.”
Pick the wrong one? You’ll be fighting yourself every single day.
Working hard is important, but working hard on the wrong thing is like running in the wrong direction — fast, but lost.
Why Most People Pick the Wrong Habit
When most people think about changing their eating, they start with the end result:
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“I want to lose 20 pounds.”
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“I’m giving up sugar.”
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“I’m going vegan.”
Sounds good, right? The problem is, these goals focus on what you want, not who you want to become.
Inside my Skool classroom, I go deeper into how identity plays a huge role in your habits — and how to use that to actually break them.
Identity + Culture: Where Food Habits Really Come From
Most books and programs skim the surface when it comes to how culture shapes identity, how identity protects culture, and what happens when they clash. I go deeper in my book and program Fed Up, but here’s a quick insight for this 21-day challenge:
"Some of our food habits didn’t just come from hunger — they came from history.
Sunday dinners with fried chicken and macaroni and cheese.
Being told, ‘You better eat everything on your plate.’
Cake and cobbler for every celebration.
We didn’t just pick these habits up — they were handed down, generation to generation, like recipes.
And some of those recipes came from a time when survival meant making the best out of what we had. But survival food doesn’t always translate to thriving food."
Shifting the Focus to Identity
Instead of chasing the next diet or cleanse, focus on becoming the kind of person who naturally eats in a way that supports your health — no matter the setting.
It’s not: “I’m trying to lose weight before vacation.”
It’s: “I’m the kind of person who maintains my health year-round.”
Because here’s what happens when you’re “trying to lose 10 pounds for summer” (in my Drake voice):
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Summer sneaks up and you never quite hit your goal.
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Or… you lose the weight, then gain back more after it’s over.
It’s not: “I’m cutting fried food for 30 days.”
It’s: “I’m the kind of person who craves food that makes me feel alive after eating.”
Yes, fried food and greasy food can taste good in the moment. But once you retrain your taste buds and reset your body, it doesn’t hit the same way. And if you actually pay attention to how you feel afterward, you’ll notice it:
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Sluggish.
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Heavy.
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Tired.
Now, compare that to how you feel after fruit or a fresh salad. You don’t crash afterward — you have energy.
That’s not just willpower. That’s you rewriting your programming — cultural, generational, and even ancestral — and proving you can honor your roots without being chained to habits that don’t serve you.
Why This Works
When your habits line up with your identity, you don’t have to force them anymore — they become part of you.
Every choice is either a deposit or a withdrawal from the identity you want to reinforce.
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Skip the soda? Deposit.
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Pack your lunch? Deposit.
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Start your day with electric fruit instead of sugary cereal or just coffee? Deposit.
The more deposits you make, the stronger your identity becomes. Soon you’re not “trying to eat better” — you just do.
Your Turn
Ask yourself:
Who is the type of person that has the food habits I want?
What’s one deposit I can make today toward that identity?
When you break patterns that no longer serve you, you’re not just changing your plate — you’re changing your story… maybe even your family’s story, too.
And trust me — grandma’s giving you the head nod.
Extra Credit: Meditation
Gratitude for joining today’s classroom! Since you stayed until the end, here’s your extra credit assignment: Meditation.
What does that word mean to you?
If you don’t know, think about it. Have you heard of it and never tried it? Have you tried it and didn’t like it? Why?
However you’ve thought about meditation in the past, if you’re not practicing it now, I want you to look at it as your lifesaver for breaking bad food habits.
Yes… meditation.
Over the next couple of days:
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Look into it.
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Read about it.
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Watch a short video.
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Try it once or twice.
Then come back to the classroom and share what you discovered. We’ll unpack it together next time.
Class is dismissed! ✨